I’d rather be hurt
People started to
reveal themselves in not-so-nice ways a while ago. They would spread rumors of
us, pick at us, and just be downright nasty to us. Even to this day, there are moments when
people pick and pick at me. Most of the time I just stay silent and let
everything be said that they want to say and that’s that.
There was this one
time that there was someone in particular who was consistently in my face
telling me nasty things. Picking out all the things I thought were cool and
calling them stupid, telling me I was wrong after I said anything. And I lost
it. I don’t even know if the person realized I lost it, and if they did, they
didn’t care. But I did. I knew what my intentions were and they were to hurt
the person back and I hated that I had tried to hurt their feelings.
The night that
followed that day, I sat in bed playing what I had said over and over again.
Then I decided that I don’t want to hurt people. I really don’t. It’s just so
tempting sometimes, because they pick and pick until they get to me.
I sat there staring
at the ceiling thinking hard. Then a random saying popped into my mind. “I’d
rather be hurt than the one who hurts.”
I’d rather be the
person to be picked on than the one who picks on others. I’d rather be the one
who’s bullied than the one who bullies. I’d rather be the one broken than the
one who breaks. I’d rather be the scratching post than the one who scratches.
I will tell you over
and over that it is so hard to control your temper when someone is just trying
to get a reaction out of you. I keep reminding myself when those situations
show up, that the Lord is the only thing that matters. If someone wants to
criticize my beliefs, my interests, my intentions, then so be it. It doesn’t
matter. If they want to criticize me for loving my Jesus, then I’ll take it.
After all, he took a lot of criticism for me. If someone wants to criticize my
interests, then so be it. Whatever you have to say about what I like isn’t
going to stop me from liking it. If someone wants to insult my intentions, so
be it. I know my intentions were good and talking about them won’t change them.
After all, they’ve
already been said and done.
I’d rather be broken,
hurt, torn, destroyed than be the one who breaks, hurts, tears, and destroys. I
don’t want to because I know it doesn’t feel good and nobody should have to
feel that way. So from this day on I’ve told myself that I’d rather be hurt
than be the one who hurts.
You with me?
