I'd Rather Be Hurt

I’d rather be hurt

 People started to reveal themselves in not-so-nice ways a while ago. They would spread rumors of us, pick at us, and just be downright nasty to us.  Even to this day, there are moments when people pick and pick at me. Most of the time I just stay silent and let everything be said that they want to say and that’s that.

 There was this one time that there was someone in particular who was consistently in my face telling me nasty things. Picking out all the things I thought were cool and calling them stupid, telling me I was wrong after I said anything. And I lost it. I don’t even know if the person realized I lost it, and if they did, they didn’t care. But I did. I knew what my intentions were and they were to hurt the person back and I hated that I had tried to hurt their feelings.

 The night that followed that day, I sat in bed playing what I had said over and over again. Then I decided that I don’t want to hurt people. I really don’t. It’s just so tempting sometimes, because they pick and pick until they get to me.

 I sat there staring at the ceiling thinking hard. Then a random saying popped into my mind. “I’d rather be hurt than the one who hurts.”

 I’d rather be the person to be picked on than the one who picks on others. I’d rather be the one who’s bullied than the one who bullies. I’d rather be the one broken than the one who breaks. I’d rather be the scratching post than the one who scratches.

 I will tell you over and over that it is so hard to control your temper when someone is just trying to get a reaction out of you. I keep reminding myself when those situations show up, that the Lord is the only thing that matters. If someone wants to criticize my beliefs, my interests, my intentions, then so be it. It doesn’t matter. If they want to criticize me for loving my Jesus, then I’ll take it. After all, he took a lot of criticism for me. If someone wants to criticize my interests, then so be it. Whatever you have to say about what I like isn’t going to stop me from liking it. If someone wants to insult my intentions, so be it. I know my intentions were good and talking about them won’t change them.

 After all, they’ve already been said and done.

 I’d rather be broken, hurt, torn, destroyed than be the one who breaks, hurts, tears, and destroys. I don’t want to because I know it doesn’t feel good and nobody should have to feel that way. So from this day on I’ve told myself that I’d rather be hurt than be the one who hurts.

 You with me?

If you need some encouragement

If any of you need encouragement, this is a song I listened to over and over again in my darkest times. It tells you that yesterday isn’t here anymore and it doesn’t matter where you’ve been. It tells you that you need to tell your heart to beat again. You can’t go on living a depressed life. If you’ve gone through some horrible times, lift your head up and tell your heart to beat again.

"Tell Your Heart To Beat Again"

You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

 Isn’t it wonderful? When you think your life is over, that is only when your journey is beginning. So hang in there and tell your heart to beat again! 

Click below to listen to the video:

 https://youtu.be/F77v41jbOYs?list=PLMrapG_dMtX6KLxPjyECgDTDuHhn2n_vo

Faithful Jesus

 Faithful Jesus

I have drifted away,

time and time again.

I feel thrown into the world's

lies.

Each and everyday,

I hear mercy's cries

I see someone over there,

whispering my name.

It angers me when I see

no shame.

They lie and whisper,

they seem to take

everything I own.

I feel like my life is at stake.

But then I remember...

My Faithful Jesus.

When I get angry,

He gives me mercy.

When I am down

He makes my frown

disappear.

When I need Him,

When I call,

He is there.
 
He's my Faithful Jesus.

Family

Sometimes family can aggravate you. Your parents can punish you for reacting to what your younger sibling did to you. Your younger sibling might nag at you constantly trying to get a reaction out of you. Parents can tell you what to do and what not to do, it might be annoying. Your older sibling can boss you around, your not a baby.

You might realize that your parents punished you to reacting to what your sibling did to you, hoping that you might think twice before doing it the next time.  You might realize you parents are telling you what to do and not what to do because what you want to do is dangerous. You might realize your sibling is only expressing their love for you in a annoying way. You might realize that you older sibling is only bossing you around because they feel their duty is to protect you.

 Family might annoy you at times. Family might make you angry. Family also lifts you up when your falling. Family also gives you hugs on the days of downs. Family also is there when you need advice. Family is there to help you when someone is being nasty to you at school.


 Some people may be thinking, "I have no family."

 It's not true.

 If you don't have a physical family, you have a spiritual one. The Church is a body of Believers, or a body of brothers and sisters who are there to help each other. The Church is where you're filled up with wisdom. It is where people give you hugs and make you feel loved.

And your Father whom is in Heaven loves you more than anything. He adores you and protects you when you ask for protection. He makes you smile when your going through the hardest thing you have ever had to go through. He's there to remind you that you are perfect the way you are when others say differently. You may not have a father on this earth, but you have one in Heaven who watches you every second of every day. He is your Family.

 Psalm 133:1 “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”

 2 Corinthians 6:18 “And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
  
 Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you"
  

Little Miss Miracle

On July 4rth, my mom handed me and my sister a present, I had no idea what it was for, my birthday had already passed, even if it was my gift, why was it for my sister too? I opened it up and it was a gift telling us our mother was pregnant. I can remember jumping up and down and continuing to smile constantly. The happiness didn't leave me.

 We soon started to schedule doctors appointments and planned everything out. We decided to take a test to tell us whether our baby was healthy or not. Well a week after we took the test, the doctor called us said everything was okay. We rejoiced and praised the Lord. The next day, we went to the doctor's office to look at the baby , but instead, the doctor called my mom and dad in. He said for me and my sister to stay out and wait, so we did. After about 15 minutes, I was starting to worry. Something was wrong. What was it? Why couldn't we go in? Well about 5 minutes after that my mom and dad came out, both looking overwhelmed with disappointment. When we got out of the doctor's office, my dad told us something, but I couldn't hear what he said, but I knew it wasn't good, at all. So my dad repeated himself and he had said, "The baby has downs." It took a while for me to figure out what that meant. I finally figured it out, the baby had down syndrome.

 We had been told that the baby was perfectly okay the day before, so this news was very unexpected. We started praying that God would change the baby and make it perfect. We later found out it was a girl and decided on the name Emmy. 

 We soon had to go to specialists for her. They would look for things that Downs babies have. All together, from what we heard, Emmy was very unhealthy. They said there was a hole in her heart, she had a missing pinky bone, her neck was too thick, she had clubbed feet, her arms and legs were too small for her body, and the fluid in her brain was too high.

 Well, when we heard she had a hole in her heart, we were recommended to a heart specialist. Before we the to that specialist, we prayed that she had no hole. We soon went to the heart specialist. The heart specialist saw no hole in her heart. Power of prayer.

 When we heard she had no pinky bone. We immediately prayed that her pinky bone would appear. And guess what? The next appointment, she had one! Power of Prayer.

All the rest of the stuff the doctor told us that was wrong with her, we couldn't find out until she was born. From there on out we prayed for a perfect baby. You know what? After about a month, I had complete faith that she was perfect. We'd seen God work already with her pinky bone and heart. That was enough. She was going to be perfect.

February 18th, 2015, at exactly 7:00o'clock a.m. Emmy was born. My sister and I were at home, jumping up and down, waiting impatiently for the news to hear whether or not she was perfect. When I talked to my mom, I asked, "Is she perfect!?" my mom said "No, they're doing tests on her right now."

 Boy oh boy. I felt hopeless. She. Wasn't. Perfect. What were our prayers about?! What was the meaning of them! I was so crushed. I was for sure she was okay, but my mother told me she wasn't. What?! I could've cried.

 We visited my mom in the hospital later that day. Emmy wasn't in the room when we arrived, she was still being tested. We waited in the small hospital room and watched T.V. It was about a hour until they actually brought her in. I was anxious to see her, hoping to be able to say, "She doesn't look downs at all!", but I couldn't say it. She looked downs, but I found her adorable. For the thirty minutes I held her, I grew more ad more attached. I didn't want to leave her. By the time I was done holding her, I didn't want her to be "perfect" I wanted her to be who she was because she was perfect to me.

 When my sister was holding her, I realized, she wasn't clubbed foot. She had the sweetest and cutest legs ever. Her arms and legs were perfect size. She may not be perfect in the worlds eyes, but she is in the Lord's and my eyes. And that's all that matters.

What God Has Done For Me.

I love God. He has done so many things for me. I decided to share a couple of things, I hope you enjoy!

 When I was born, I was deaf, no accident caused me to become deaf, I just was. The doctors found out that I was deaf when I was 11 months old. The doctors said I would never speak. I had my surgery when I was 18 months (To put a "magnet" into my head, that way the cochlear implant would work.), after my surgery I got the cochlear implants. I began to speak, then the doctors said I would never be able to go past a 1rst grade reading level, but I went beyond that. In third grade I was reading 6th grade books.

 When I was nine I prayed that my mom would become pregnant. My mom told me that she was satisfied with the children she had, so instead I started to pray that we could foster orphan children. My parents weren't up for fostering, but sure enough a year later they decided to start take foster parenting classes. It took about three months for that to end, then we officially were a foster family. We fostered five children in three years. We loved them all, but the one that was the hardest to lose was Elle. She was our only girl foster child. We had her since new born to eight months old. When we lost her I never thought I was going to be happy again. I prayed that God would show me a reason she left. Well, three months after we lost Elle, my mom found out she was pregnant. I praised God for the answered prayer. I asked Him to show me why we lost Elle, he did, we had a baby we'd never lose. Those three years of fostering we preparing us for the permanent child. Not only was it preparation, it was three years of growing in faith. I'm a much stronger Christian than I was before fostering.

 Well, there you go! Hope you liked!

The Rapture Part 2

The video shows the main parts that happened in my dream, but I figured I'd show you the whole story. I hope you enjoy.


My dream,

“We were playing with neighborhood friends out front.  The sky was bright blue, but then all of a sudden it turned pitch black and windy. Our friendswent home and we went inside.  Then they ran over to our house and told us there was a tornado.  The tornado formed right above the pond (in our backyard).  There were four twisters coming out of the tornado.  It came close to the house, but then the clouds parted and the bright light came down.  Many hundreds of angels came down, interlocking arms, and surrounded the tornadoes.  They kept squeezing the tornadoes until the twisters disappeared.  The clouds turned bright again and one cloud was holding Jesus on it.  I don’t know what He looked like, He was just bright.  Everyone went up to Him in the sky that knew Him and gave Him hugs and kisses.  It was really weird because we were running and then we just started running in the air because He was up high.  Then a couple people were yelling that it was aliens, a couple people were on the ground, bowing down because they knew.  A lot of people were crying because their kids were going up without them.

We went to heaven.  You were holding Elle (Love).  I went through the gates and felt for my cochlears.  They were gone but I was hearing perfectly.  Then we saw Baby, Beau, Trey, and Levi (foster babies) Natalie (friend that died of cancer), Gigi (grandma), Aunt Celie, and everyone we knew from earth that knew Jesus.  Then two angels came up holding Remington, Snuggles, and Tootsie (pets).  Jesus was right next to us.  It was almost like a parade crowd, and Jesus was showing us around and we saw everything.  There was a huge, long table filled with food for everyone to eat later.  There were trees, but it wasn’t like earth.  I guess it looked like earth, but it was perfect.  I never looked down to see if I could see the earth from up there.  I don’t think He wanted us to.  He showed us a golden trail and we followed it to a huge, golden mansion.  In my mansion there was a pet lion and pet sheep lying down next to each other.  From the distance from every single mansion, you could see His throne.  It was the best dream.  I didn’t want to wake up.

Below are some things that Ididn’t know from the Bible that we found out my dream.

Rev 7:1 After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree.

Rev 1:7  BEHOLD, HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS, and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced Him; and all the tribes of the earth will mourn over Him. So it is to be. Amen.

1 Thessalonians 4:17 Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever.